Waiting

My plane is scheduled to take off around 12:55 and board around 12:25. Yet I have been in the airport since 9 this morning due to the kindness of my mother who drove me here. I'm glad that she drove me so I could see her before I left, but this is incredible. So far, other than the TSA agent tossing my checked bag as if it were trash, nothing bad has happened. I can't really explain how bored I am right now, or the other feelings welling up inside of me. I'm heading to France from now (January 8th) until May, and this is the first time I have taken a plane by myself. That in itself is hard for me I'm very comfortable doing the same things, living in the same way, and being with the same people day in and day out. But I have an ever burning desire to depend my horizons o see new things and to experience a new way of life. I'm going to France, but to be completely honest it feels really surreal  as if it isn't really happening. I keep looking around and expecting someone I know to tell me where it is I am really headed, I couldn't possibly be flying to a different country to live, by myself. I never have thought of myself as independent, I feel like I'm always leaning upon my family or Travis, they're always there to take care of me, but now I'm by myself for the first time in my life. Given however that I'm never more than a click away from anyone in this ever connected world wide web of an age. But I think that this is why I really wanted to study abroad  I wanted to learn to be by myself, to learn to be self sufficient  to learn some sort of independence that I would never be able to get here in Minnesota surrounded by those I love. I want adventure, freedom, independence. I want to get lost, to get confused, to get scared. I want to find my way, find the answer, find my strength. I want to meet new people, see new things, and taste new foods. I want to do things that no one I love has done. I want to experience French culture in the context in which it was created. I want to learn, to eat, to pray, and to wonder. But until then I have to wait for this silly plane.